12.Gee, Officer Krupkee
Music:Bernstein
Lyrics:Sondheim
Vocal:Salt-N-Pepa/Left Eye
*The Songs Of West Side Story
Excuse me Mr. Officer
You think we're bad, huh?
You wanna clean up the streets, huh?
Well you better put society in handcuffs
Ha ha, you got a hard job
I'm talkin' 'bout West Side Story
It's before my time
Police sweat me like the Sharks & the Jets
Because I do what I does
So they wanna hit me
If you let me
I'll explain the game
Clear my name
And show you ain't a damn thing changed
So don't criticize the way that I'm ballin'
This ain't Broadway
We learned it the hard way
Dear kindly Sergeant Krupkee
You gotta understand
It's just our bringing up-kee
That gets us out of hand
Our mothers all are junkies
Our fathers all are drunks
Golly, moses, naturally we're punks
See Officer Krupkee we're very upset
We never had the love that every child outta get
We ain't no delinquents we're misunderstood
Deep down inside us there is good
There is good, there is good
There is hard time good
Right inside the worst of us is good
You see, Officer Krupkee
You gotta have some compassion
You know, you always harrassin' me
But what you don't understand is
I come from a broken home
My momma don't care about me
My daddy don't care about me
And you always gettin' on my case
It ain't me homeboy
It's society
Dear Kindly Judge Your Honor
My parents treat me rough
With all their marijuana
They won't give me a puff
They didn't want to have me
But somehow I was had
Leapin' lizards that's why I'm so bad
Right
This boy don't need a judge
He needs anonymous care
His cheeks aren't rosy
That outta be curved
He's psychologically disturbed
We're disturbed, we're disturbed
We're the most disturbed
Now we're psychologically disturbed
We out of our minds you know what I'm sayin'
Yeah, because we got problems
Deep down inside
I ain't got no analystic goatee
And sit down on the couch
Then find out why I'm disturbed
I know why I'm disturbed
And you know what
I don't care
Cuz it's just like that
And that's just how it is
You know what I'm sayin'
That's the way it is
Crazy
Father is a bastard
My mom's an S-O-B
My grandpa's always plastered
My gramma pushes tea
My sister wears a mustache
My brother wears a dress
Goodness gracious that's why I'm a mess
Officer Krupkee you're really a slob
This boy don't need a doctor
Just a good honest job
Society played him a terrible trick
And socialogically he's sick
We are sick, we are sick
We are sick, sick, sick
Like we're socialogically sick
In other words
This is what happens when cousins marry
We are bendejo here
Inbred
We're like, other Forrest Gump's
Kindly social worker
They say go earn a buck
Like be a soda jerker
Which means like be a schmuck
It's not I'm anti-social
I'm only anti-work
Gloriosky, now that's why I'm a jerk
Officer Krupkee ya done it again
This boy don't need a doc
He needs a year in the pen
It ain't just a question of misunderstood
Deep down inside, he ain't no damn good
We're no good, we're no good
We're no earthly good
Like the best, the rests just no damn good
The trouble is he's crazy
The trouble is he drinks
The problem is he's lazy
The trouble is he stinks
The trouble is he's growin'
The trouble is he's grown
Krupkee we've got troubles of our own
Gee, Officer Krupkee
We're down on our knees
Cuz no one wants a fella
With a social disease
Gee, Officer Krupkee
What are we to do
Gee, Officer Krupkee
Krup you!
Officer Krupkee you're really a square
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